Showing posts with label Florida. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Florida. Show all posts

July 31, 2013

GART Report #4: Food - the good, the bad, the ugly

Eating on the road can easily become a game of Fast Food Roulette.  Before you realize it, you've eaten at McDonald's, Taco Bell, Chick-fil-A, and Wendy's.  Three times each.  It's probably the only time in your life that your stomach will say to you, "Jesus, ANOTHER french fry?"

But being on the road also means finding a new and amazing place (that's probably not 0.2 miles from the interstate) or going back to an old favorite.  Like your typical GART, ours had a little bit of each.  There was amazing food.  There was mediocre food.  There was scary food.  Here are the winners of the Great GART Meal Awards of 2013:

The Good:  Teppan Edo Hibachi Grill in Disney World

Chris had talked about going for hibachi at the Japanese pavillion in Epcot for weeks.  He'd been before, and said it was the best hibachi he'd ever had.  I was sold.  Who doesn't like hibachi?

He was spot-on.  I had swordfish that was perfectly cooked, and whatever those sauces are that the chef threw on it blended beautifully into one big smiling rainbow in my mouth.  It also doesn't hurt to watch your chef make your food do gymnastics as he cooks it.  Dude had skills.

Teppan Edo goes for quality over quantity.  The last hibachi place I went to, while pretty tasty, served up bowls of fried rice the size of a human head.  No one needs to be served that much fried rice, much less eat it all, which is exactly what I did. But don't worry, you won't leave Teppan Edo hungry - at all.  You'll still be basking in with post-flavor-awesomeness glow.

Dadgum it, I really want that swordfish again.


The Bad:  Yum Yum Sushi in Mobile, Alabama
We had just arrived in town.  We were tired.  Chris wasn't feeling well.  Neither of us felt like preparing food ourselves, and it just so happened that a sushi joint was 2 miles down the road.

Except... said sushi joint was located inside a gas station.  Hey, road trips are supposed to be an adventure, right?  That's a great excuse to have sushi from a gas station!


There is never an excuse to have sushi from a gas station. Not even being tired, lazy, and sick.  Just pick up the phone and order pizza.

Here is how our evening went:

Me:  "I'll have the salmon roll, the yellow tail roll, and the tuna roll.  And do you have jasmine tea?"

Stoned-out waiter:  "Uhhhh....  we have green tea...."

Me:  "Ok, green tea works, thanks."

30 seconds later...

Waiter:  "Wait, what did you order again? Sorry..."

Me:  "Salmon, tuna, and yellow tail."

Waiter: " Ok, cool."

2 minutes later...

Waiter:  "Wait... one more time... you had salmon, and what else?"

Me:  "YELLOW TAIL AND TUNA!"

Waiter:  "Oh yeah..."

The sushi wasn't bad.  It wasn't good, either.  Also, Celine Dion was playing on the stereo.  We were eating raw fish in a gas station listening to horrible 90's music with a waiter that probably doesn't remember his own name.  I'm rather glad to say that we got out without dying from either the music or the food, as well as getting out without killing the waiter.  Everyone wins.  Sort of.


The Ugly:  Taco Bell in Richmond Hill, Georgia
There are only two things that a fast food restaurant has to do to satisfy a customer.  Give them food, and make it fast.  That's it.  The bar is set pretty low.  No one said the food had to be good.  Just throw something mildly edible in a bag and hand it over.

The employees at this particular Taco Bell do not understand this simple rule. Now, if 30 people come in all at once, then of course, no one is going to get food and get it fast.  But when we walked into this tragedy of a fast food joint, there were not 30 people waiting.  There were only 2 people in line to order and about 7 people standing around waiting for food.

All of the employees looked utterly dumbfounded, like they had no idea where they were, what they were doing, or remembered that they could, say, rub 2 brain cells together to form an actual thought. An irate manager stomped around yelling at all the blank-faced employees.  Everyone waiting for their food was glaring at everyone behind the counter.

A guy that walked in 15 minutes after we did got his food before ours came out.  The manager saw the fury starting to erupt on my face and assured me that our order was just about ready.

We waited 20 minutes for our &*$#ing tacos.  And as soon we left, I called Taco Bell customer service to complain about this abomination.  Bastards didn't even offer us coupons.  Up yours, Taco Bell.



July 20, 2013

GART Report #3: My unfinished business with Disney World

The last time I stepped foot into Disney World was a whopping 24 years ago.  I am an old fart. And I've gotten set in my traveling ways.  My idea of a good travelin' time is either trying to make my way around a country without basics like clean water and electricity (or a functioning government), seeing and experiencing natural beauty, or seeing and experiencing manmade stuff that is really, really old.

I admit, I scoffed just a bit at going to Disney World.  Everything is man-made, pretty darn new, and, well, it's in Florida.  No offense to any of you that are from Florida or simply love it there, but you have to know that it is full of crazy people.  You know a state is crazy if they have their own tag on College Humor.

But to be honest, I actually has some unfinished business with ye olde Disney World.  See, when I was there 24 years ago with my parents, I really wanted to go on Space Mountain.  What kid doesn't? But my mom was a giant chicken, and my dad said he couldn't because of his eyesight (which was probably man-speak for "I'm also a giant chicken.").  So Space Mountain never happened.  So sad, right?

Well, I got the chance to right that wrong.  Space Mountain was awesome.  I could have ridden it all day.  If you don't like Space Mountain, then you are an alien.  If you don't like Space Mountain, the terrorists win.

We hit up Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Animal Kingdom, and Typhoon Lagoon.  There have been plenty of changes in the past 24 years.  I rode rides that, like Space Mountain, I would have missed out on had they been there on my last visit.  My parents would have never gone for Splash Mountain, Expedition Everest, or the water slide that featured a 5-story drop.

After four days of fantastic rides, fun shows, crazy fireworks, and Mickey Mouse-shaped ice cream sandwiches (those things are addicting), I can only find 3 things wrong with Disney World:

1.  It's still in Florida.
2.  They don't serve beer in the Magic Kingdom
3.  The wait for Soaring was so long that we never got to ride.

Altogether, pretty amazing.  Although, it once again appears that I have some unfinished business with Disney.  I have to go back and ride Soaring.  I just hope it doesn't take 24 years for me to get back there again.


June 18, 2012

Best U.S. airports, also according to me

Now that I've gotten what I have deemed this country's worst airports out of the way, here are the ones that I consider among the best.  Again, I haven't experienced all the airports in the U.S., but then again, this isn't an official list or anything.  So without further ado...


Reagan National Airport (Washington, D.C.):  I want to hug this airport.  I want to love it and squeeze it and call it George.  It is a mere 5 miles from downtown DC.  It has its own metro stop, making it cheap and easy to get to and from.  If I’m feeling lazy, a taxi can have me home in 15 minutes. Except for the very early morning hours, the security lines here are practically non-existent.  The place is half deserted on the afternoon before Thanksgiving.  It’s glorious.

Charlotte-Douglas International Airport (Charlotte, NC):  If I have a long layover, CLT is where I want to be.  Large windows, rocking chairs, and trees are located just about everywhere.  Don’t knock the rocking chairs - they are fabulous.  The main food court has a sushi bar and live piano music.  It’s almost a shame that flights here seem to generally take off and land on schedule.  Despite having more layovers here than I can remember in recent memory, I can’t remember a single significant delay.  Score.

Baltimore-Washington International Airport (Baltimore, MD): If you can’t easily make your way to BWI within the DC/Baltimore region, you are a complete travel amateur (sorry).  It is serviced by light rail, Amtrak, a commuter train line called MARC, and multiple bus systems.  And if you’re driving, the BWI parking garages have a sensor system that tell you how many open parking spots are in each level and row.  How brilliant is that? Plus, prices at BWI can often be the best deal in the metro area, and security lines aren’t nearly as long and annoying as they are at Washington Dulles.

Panama City International Airport (Panama City, FL):  It’s brand new, not at all crowded, easy to get in and out of, and Southwest has deemed it worthy of their presence.  Plus, world-class beaches are just a few minutes away.  This place is one big WIN.