How to stay safe in South Africa

My mom nearly sh*t bricks when I told her I was planning to visit South Africa back in 2007.  Pretty much all she’d ever heard about Africa involved poverty, violence, death, and maybe a lion thrown in here and there.  So, of course, my plans to go to South Africa meant that I was going to die.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, surely you’ve heard of the recent tragedy of Oscar Pistorius shooting his girlfriend.  It’s brought to light just how violent South Africa can be.  

So yeah, it has one of the top 5 highest homicide rates in the world and has been nicknamed World Rape Capital.  But despite these statistics, South Africa is one of my absolute favorite countries, and I’ve managed to go twice without any violent incidents or even feeling remotely threatened or scared.  Don’t let the media’s focus on violence in South Africa deter you from visiting if you’ve been considering it.  Here are some ways you can stay safe and not get paranoid about getting killed by an Olympic athlete (or anyone else):

• After dark?  Take a cab.  Oh, you’re only going 3 blocks?  TAKE A CAB.
• If someone tries to jump in front of you or otherwise get you to stop while driving on a road in a not-so-populated area, Jesus, don’t stop.  Hit them if you have to.  I am not kidding.
• Use the buddy system. Yep, just like kindergarten. Don’t go out alone, and don’t wander back to your hostel alone. 
• If you’re too cool to carry your passport and extra cash under your clothes in other countries, well, don’t blame me if you get robbed at gunpoint.
• Don’t start a fight with anyone. Which for most men means that you probably should stay away from the Jaegermeister.

Ok, I know, this list just might make it sound like going to South Africa = certain death.  But I guarantee you that it is a downright amazing country.  It’s absolutely beautiful, the opportunities to see wildlife ranging from hippos to penguins can’t be beat, it’s easy to get around, and people are ridiculously friendly.  Oh, and some freakin’ fabulous wine comes out of this country.  

In my opinion, taking some extra precautions and being a little more aware of your surroundings is totally worth it for the experiences South Africa has to offer.  Don’t let fear prevent you from having the time of your life.  Focus on the awesome things you can and will do, and just look over your shoulder every now and then. 

How to achieve an epic international butt-dial

Lynette, Steve, and I were tooling with our guide, Ash, around Luxor, Egypt when we suddenly saw a group of colorful hot air balloons rising off the ground just a few miles away.

Steve: “Hey Ash, can we do that?”

Ash: “Of course.  You can do sunrise balloon ride over Luxor tomorrow if you like.”

We got ridiculously excited at the prospect of taking a hot air balloon ride over the Nile and the temples of Karnak, Luxor, and Queen Hashepsut.  We booked it, forgetting that sunrise comes disgustingly early in the morning.

The alarm went off at 4:20AM.  Why did we decide to do this?

Ash came to meet us at 4:45AM and led us to a boat that would take us to the other side of the Nile.  The boat operator made all of us put on life vests for the 90-second ride across the river.  Given the fact that we were in a country where people drive without their headlights on at night to “save energy” and operate junk like this, 

 it still wasn’t yet 5AM, and I hadn’t even had a whiff of coffee, I felt rather mocked by this exercise.  

We arrived at the balloon field to find half-full balloons in various rainbow colors lit up in the darkness by the gas fires beneath them. We climbed into the basket of our assigned balloon and moments later, we were lifted into the pre-dawn haze over Luxor.

As we rose up to 5,000 feet and raced the sun into the sky, we marveled at the birds-eye view of all the amazing sights we’d seen on the ground the day before, the grandeur of the Nile, and the contrast between the green irrigated fields and the brownish red desert beyond them.

And then, Steve took his phone out of his pocket.

“Oh, hey Seth.  Yeah...  So, I just pocket-dialed you from a hot air balloon.  Sorry, man. So how are you and Meg this morning?”

Yep.  Steve butt-dialed our friends in Cairo from a hot air balloon.  At least the sun was above the horizon at that point.  

I would end this by saying friends don’t let friends butt-dial from 5,000 feet at sunrise, but this was one of the funniest moments of the trip.  So by all means, encourage your friends to butt-dial someone from a hot air balloon.  No one will regret it - except perhaps the person on the other end of the line.

When not to take a nap on vacation

My mom had a brilliant idea 10 years ago: “Honey, why don’t we go on an Alaskan cruise?”

I’ve learned over the years that I’m not the biggest fan of cruises, but of the ones I’ve taken, this one stands out.  Seeing glaciers calve and spotting seals and whales that pop up out of the water really is ridiculously exciting - much more so than watching rhythmly-challenged people attempt to strut to some Top 40 song in a bikini on the pool deck and not spill their $12 fruity cocktail.

One of the excursions that Mom and I opted for was a floatplane ride over a glacier.  We were paired up with an older couple for our flight in a tiny 6-person plane.  Not that this was surprising, since pretty much everyone on this cruise had gray hair and an AARP membership - except for me.  

The pilot offered the front passenger seat to the older man, who graciously accepted.  Mom and I took the middle seats, and the man’s wife sat in the rear. 

We took off and hurtled our way over the mountains to the glacier nearby.  The scenery was incredible.  The ice formations and the shapes they made - sometimes jagged, sometimes strangely swirly - fascinated me.    My jaw was on the floor as I stared out the right-side window.  Mom (and her jaw) mirrored me on the left side.  Neither of us had ever seen anything like this. Who knew that snow and ice could be so gorgeous?  

“SnnnnooooOOOOCCCKK.”

Mom and I snapped out of our trance at the sound coming from the back of the plane.  We turned around to see what the obnoxious interruption was.  The woman in the back seat was sound asleep and snoring.  We were gliding just a few hundred feet above some of the most amazing scenery I’ve ever seen (and scenery that isn’t easily accessible, either), and this woman just zonked out.  

Really?  Really.

Also, this flight was not cheap.  For Mom and me, it was completely worth the price.  But for Captain Narco, well, she probably took the world’s most expensive nap.  I hope she got some good rest.

Packing: to plan or not to plan?

If you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute.

That’s my philosophy for many things in life.  I’m a perpetual procrastinator.  I pulled more than the average number of all-nighters in college. But I graduated, so it worked, right?

I often use this philosophy for packing, too.  In fact, I’m using it today.  I have to catch a flight to Alabama in a few hours, and I haven’t packed jack.  Granted, most of my packing involves paperwork to take care of my mom’s affairs rather than clothing (I keep some clothes down there), but I still need to take a few articles.  Mainly because of the temperature difference - it’s about 60F in Alabama right now.  It’s a balmy 20F in DC at the moment, and it isn’t even snowing.  There’s just no excuse for that.  Hear me, snow gods? 

If I’m going on a longer trip to someplace far, far away, then I’m normally a little more proactive in my packing approach. It can be hard to find some every day items in a foreign country.  I highly doubt I could find socks to fit my mammoth feet in, say, Vietnam.  But for a quick trip to Alabama?  Here’s what I do:

A few days ahead of time: 

1. Make pile of paperwork, mail, music, etc., that needs to go with me on the kitchen counter.  
2. Make mental note of other random items that I will later forget about.

Day of flight:

1. Open closet.  Stare into closet for 20 minutes.
2. Pull out 3 outfits plus running shorts and shoes.  
3. Remember that I don’t need anything nice since I’ll be in sweats 80% of the time.  
4. Put 2 outfits back in the closet.
5. Contemplate remaining outfit for another 10 minutes.
6. Decide that it doesn’t matter, I’m probably not going to wear said outfit anyway.
7. Stuff everything in the suitcase. 
8. Go to airport, remember all the things I forgot. Decide I didn’t really need them anyway.

I could easily eliminate steps 1-6 the day of if I were a dude.  In that case, I would just sleepily stuff an extra t-shirt and pair of jeans into a backpack and consider it done.  Not that I can’t do that as a girl, but I’m too vain to go that route.  So I still wait until the last minute.  But, ok - I'll admit it, it takes me a hair longer than a minute.  

And with that, I’m going to stop writing and go stare into my closet.  Happy Friday!

My travel wish list

With it being a new year and all, I decided to sit down and make up my own travel wish list.  This isn't a list of places I'm going to try to hit up all in one year, although that would make for a pretty rockin' 2013.  These are just places that have caught my extra attention in one way or another, and I have decided to make an official declaration that I want to visit.  So in no particular order, here is my list:

1. Australia and New Zealand.  It's gorgeous.  It's exotic.  It's far away.  And it's one of 2 continents I haven't been to yet.  
2. Antarctica.  The second of the 2 continents I haven't been to yet.  Also, penguins.  Penguins are adorable, and I have no problem making my way toward the South Pole to see some.
3. Mongolia.  It's the most remote country in the world, and for some reason, I am ridiculously fascinated with this fact.  I want to wake up in a yurt in the middle of absolutely nothing, save for a yak or a goat.
4. Milan, Italy.  The world's most famous opera house (also with the most renowned persnickety audience), La Scala, is in Milan.  Being an opera nerd and all, I absolutely must make a pilgrimage.  
5. Colorado, US.  I've been to the lovely little town of Durango, Colorado a few times.  I love it.  .  But I need to branch out and see more of this state.  With gorgeous mountains, laid-back outdoor enthusiasts, and somewhere around 140 microbreweries, I need some Colorado action.
6. Bali, Indonesia.  It seems like the perfect destination.  Gorgeous beaches and mountains, exotic jungles, Hindu culture, amazing food and arts, and super friendly people.  Why am I not in Bali right now? 
7. Argentina.  I want to wander around the gorgeous architecture of Buenos Aires, drink fabulous wine, eat delicious steak, and learn how to tango.  Then I want to run around Patagonia.  Well, probably more like labor and wheeze my way around Patagonia.  Lather, rinse, repeat.  

Of course, all my travel plans go out the window when I have a friend move to a foreign country and I get the "Hey, you should come visit!".  Because when my friends move abroad and say that, I actually show up (take that as a warning).  What's not to love about spending time with a friend that can show you around and offer you crash space?  So who knows when I'll make it to all these places, but don't worry - it'll happen.  

Hey human, come visit.

What's on your travel wish list?

Monday + (f)unemployment = trip to Gettysburg

What do you do when it’s a balmy winter Monday and you’re unemployed?  You take a day trip to Gettysburg, PA.  That’s what.  

Chris has been to Gettysburg many, many times.  I’ve lived in the mid-Atlantic for over 10 years now, and I’d never been.  It’s a whopping 90 minutes from DC.  I know, I should hang my head in shame. 

If you need a history refresher (and I will sheepishly admit that I needed a bit of one - thank goodness Chris is a walking American history textbook and makes history MUCH more interesting than any book I studied in school), here you go - the Confederacy was basically owning the Union in the war until this battle, which started on July 1, 1863 and lasted 3 gory, bloody days.  It was the deadliest battle of the entire war, with about 50,000 human casualties and 5,000 dead horses spread over about 25 square miles.  The poor little town of 2,400 civilians was left with a nasty clean-up job.  Apparently it took a few years for the rank stench of death to finally go away.  Everyone together now, “Ewwwww.”  

The town Gettysburg is beautiful and quaint, with many restored Civil War-era buildings still hanging around, and today it doesn’t reek of death.  The building below, now housing a tavern, was taken over by the Confederate solders who used the tiny side window at the top to pick off Union soldiers in the street.  Of course, the Union shot back at them, but the window was a pretty small target, and muskets aren’t known for making terribly accurate shots.  So the side of the house got all kinds of shot up, and the bullet holes are still there. 

The Gettysburg Visitors Center offers a map detailing a self-guided auto tour, which was right up our alley, so off we went to drive around the battlefield. Just so you know, this tour was surprisingly well marked with road signs.  Shoot, you could probably make the whole drive without the map if you know where to start.

We went a bit out of order.  But hey, it’s our tour.  We can do what we want. So our first stop was the Solders’ National Cemetery.  We stood on the spot where Abraham Lincoln gave the infamous Gettysburg Address after the war.  We realized just how many unknown soldiers were buried - both individually and in mass graves.  We froze our asses off because the day’s temperature peaked at like 10am. And I had chosen not to wear socks.  

We continued driving through the battlefield, going to the area where fighting first broke out on July 1, 1863. Memorials to various regiments, states, and military officers are everywhere - everywhere.  It could easily take days to check them all out. I kept trying to picture the beautiful rolling fields littered with mangled humans and horses.  That was no easy feat.  Then again, I’m pretty dadgum sure that fighting a war in the middle of summer in the 19th century was no piece of cake, either.  I’ll stick with my first world problems.

Darkness set in at our last stop, which is also supposed to be one of the most haunted spots of the entire battlefield.  An area called Devil’s Den happened to be the home to a large number of Confederate casualties.  It’s in a rocky valley, and the Union soldiers on the 2 neighboring hilltops had no problem taking down thousands of men down below.  

After the battle was over, a photographer came through the area.  He wanted an action shot of the battle, but he was a little late to the game.  So he got the bright idea to pose a corpse in Devil’s Den with a gun to fake an action shot.  The poor soul was apparently not amused with the fact that his former body was being manhandled, and he supposedly now haunts photographers that take pictures of Devil’s Den.  There are numerous reports of pictures turning out distorted, of cameras randomly turning on and off, and of cell phones with cameras suddenly being drained of all their battery power. 

So what did Chris and I do?  We ran around the rocky den taking pictures.  Duh.  

My iPhone didn’t exhibit any strange behavior, and I didn’t see anything funky in any of the photos.  Pooh. What a letdown.  

Mr. Ghost?  Hello...?

We ended up only spending about 6 hours in Gettysburg, which isn’t nearly enough for nerds like us.  A trip back in the spring is definitely in order.  And next time, I’m going to bring a real camera, try to piss off the Devil’s Den ghost, and get some freaky pictures. I’ll let you know how that goes.

And if you’re a history nerd, too, and want more info on the battle and Gettysburg itself, check these out:

The Gettysburg Foundation

Gettysburg Welcome Center

The Civil War Trust, Gettysburg Battlefield

National Park Service, Gettysburg National Military Park

My favorite things: Opsrey Talon 22 daypack

I'm on a backpack roll here - I hope you don't mind.

Last week I talked about my beloved North Face Napali 50 pack for traveling.  It's great for carrying all your stuff, but this isn't the kind of thing I want to carry with me while I'm out and about looking at the sights, out on a day hike, crouched on a tiny plastic stool with a 40-cent beer at a bia hoi, or crashing a funeral.

For these things, I have another backpack that I rely on:  the Osprey Talon 22.  This is my favorite backpack of all time.  I might be in love with it.  If someone stole this thing, I would be much more upset at losing the bag itself than any of its contents.

I bought my beloved little backpack back in 2008 to take on a last-minute trip to visit a friend that had just moved to Hawaii.  My plans involved lots and lots of day hikes (I'm not a huge chill-on-the-beach-for-days person, plus I'm ghostly white with a sunscreen allergy), so I was in need of a tough but comfortable daypack.  Holy mai tais, did the Osprey ever make my day.

The straps are unbelievably comfortable, and they come with a mini-pocket on each one.  If you have an old-school cell phone, it'll totally fit in one of the pockets.  I drank the smart phone Kool-Aid a few years ago, so I stash my phone in one of the 2 mesh pockets on the hip belt and keep an LED flashlight stored in one of the strap pockets.

The back ventilation is top-notch, it includes an internal sleeve for a hydration bladder, it has side pockets for holding drink bottles, and it has a stretchy outside pocket that's perfect for storing your fleece or raincoat.  The zippers are tough but easy to move, and the backpack material is super tough. And thanks to its smart overall design, the bulk of the pack sits away from my arms so that I never rub against it while I'm out and about.

To put this as bluntly as possible, this daypack is downright amazing, and any daypack you might own is completely inferior. Boy, I wish Osprey was paying me to say that, but they aren't.  They just impressed the hell out of me.

I've taken this pack to Hawaii, Chile, California, South Korea, and South Africa.  I've hauled it on countless camping trips, hikes, and bike rides (hey, speaking of biking, it even has a built-in thingy to attach a blinker light).  It's still in great shape. The Talon also comes in other sizes, too:

       

You might have noticed that the Talon series is a tad on the expensive side.  But you totally get what you pay for.  I paid full price for my Talon 22 (something I rarely do - I'm a discount whore).  It was SO worth it.